fuck ur life

i jsut got done spilling my brains out on here... for my post to NOT POST when i hit publish post... fucking ridiculous. damnit

Not What I Imagined...

So i just got off the phone with my Mama.. and had a little bit of a break down.. when she asked how everything was going i couldnt help but start crying.. living with my dad in alaska is nothing like what i thought it was going to be like... Since the day I got here, a week ago, we've been living at a house my dads friend has been house sitting for, the lady that lives here is coming home tonight, so now we're off to stay at my dads friends' place... all i could tell my mom was "i didnt think it was going to be like this" ...



So My Mom says, "so why dont you come home?" but honestly to me i feel like i don't have a home in AZ either... ever since i left for Vegas back on that early monday morning in February i left everything i had except my car, my clothes, and my Tupac painting that still needs to be finished... My new life in Vegas was cut short when Capri decided she wanted to leave her job there and start a new company with her friend in AZ... so back to Mesa it was for me until further notice... From the day i got back to AZ i felt like i didnt have a home anymore.. ofcourse i had a place to eat, and lay my head... but none of it was mine anymore.



I miss how shit used to be... back at the house on Garnet... when i knew everyone that lived in my entire neighborhood, from Lindsay to Val Vista, Southern to Baseline... i think ever since we left that place, everywhere ive lived since then has never really felt like home... i miss going to visit Andrew n Mindy in phx, altho im not gonna lie, i love that u guys are much closer now, i missing knowing i wasnt aloud to go into Taylor's room without knocking, and even after asking i most likely wasnt aloud in his room, i miss going onto my back porch to watch Zeus and what ever other dog we had at that point in time..valentine,stinkerz,hoffa,capone,daisy.. i still despise Sergio for taking Zeus away... i miss running thru the kitchen and swinging up the staircase so hard my mom could hear it and yell at me.. i miss the days when my mom wasnt sick.. omg i miss those so much.. i wish she didnt have to hurt anymore and that she was healthy again.


but now i really gotta stop typing... all this crying im doing is really not a good look...
I hope this journey called LIFE turns out to be something better than the picture it's painting for me right now... might be back later.. then again, maybe not...

So, tonight I discovered I actually think I enjoy watching basketball.. lol after tonights Orlando/Laker game I think ima try watchin BBall more often good dame

e was like, "You have a boyfriend?" It was pretty funny... bleh I just gotta stick it out...

Its already getting annoying and I've only been here 2 days. Lol shoulda seen his face when I told him the man I'm with is coming here to be with me.. h

Right now I'm trying to figure out why I moved to Alaska... I knew I was gonna have trouble getting along with John aka my Dad... :/ we argue constantly.

Spoiled Rotten

Alrightyyyy.... so now that ive got my first blog up and out of the way.. i can move on to a more serious note.. i jus found out im going to be an Auntie :]... hells yes... Auntie Lolly to be exact.. if my mom gets to picc her grandma nickname, i sure as hell get to pick mine.

Damn and while im writing this im going to stop typing things that end in ck with cc... i think its time. though i still have respect for my boys.

haha ok anywho... Gloria found out today she is 6 weeks pregnant, her and Rymie are happy, mama's happy, i called n told my dad he's gonna be a Grandpa, that was amusing, i think everything will be fabulous.

that is going to be one Spoiled kid that's for damn sure.

Brand New

That's right folks... It's about time ive started writing.. and what better way to start, than to Blog.. im hoping this will help me understand what writing is all about and help get me on my way to writing music.. thankfully i can do this shit from my cellular device, other wise u wouldnt be hearing from me very often.. lol im going to try and do my best to write as often as possible.. i dont really care if anyone reads the stuff i write.. but, if you do.. Thanks sugar plum.

this is for you...