Lower...

You inspire me to write... I want to write for you... I wish I had written you more... I want you to know that you're a big influence to me and I want to make you happy... and that I love you :)

P.S. look lower...

family matters

so i just got of the phone with Tayter.. probaly the longest conversation we've had in a while... but it was good. i told him im ready to leave alaska, i just cant stand living with the piece of shit known as my father aka John any longer. He thinks i should try to stick it out if possible bcuz he should be here in a couple weeks... but i honestly dont think i can.

i cant stand sitting in a house all freakin day by myself. i cant stand hearing his voice day in and day out, it makes me cringe, especially when hes yelling at me.

i dont think im gonna tell him im leaving. im just gonna go home and put the rest of my shit in my suitcase, and im gonna leave. i really hope kyle can get me a ticket back to AZ for as soon as possible. well i guess we'll see...

fuck ur life

i jsut got done spilling my brains out on here... for my post to NOT POST when i hit publish post... fucking ridiculous. damnit

Not What I Imagined...

So i just got off the phone with my Mama.. and had a little bit of a break down.. when she asked how everything was going i couldnt help but start crying.. living with my dad in alaska is nothing like what i thought it was going to be like... Since the day I got here, a week ago, we've been living at a house my dads friend has been house sitting for, the lady that lives here is coming home tonight, so now we're off to stay at my dads friends' place... all i could tell my mom was "i didnt think it was going to be like this" ...



So My Mom says, "so why dont you come home?" but honestly to me i feel like i don't have a home in AZ either... ever since i left for Vegas back on that early monday morning in February i left everything i had except my car, my clothes, and my Tupac painting that still needs to be finished... My new life in Vegas was cut short when Capri decided she wanted to leave her job there and start a new company with her friend in AZ... so back to Mesa it was for me until further notice... From the day i got back to AZ i felt like i didnt have a home anymore.. ofcourse i had a place to eat, and lay my head... but none of it was mine anymore.



I miss how shit used to be... back at the house on Garnet... when i knew everyone that lived in my entire neighborhood, from Lindsay to Val Vista, Southern to Baseline... i think ever since we left that place, everywhere ive lived since then has never really felt like home... i miss going to visit Andrew n Mindy in phx, altho im not gonna lie, i love that u guys are much closer now, i missing knowing i wasnt aloud to go into Taylor's room without knocking, and even after asking i most likely wasnt aloud in his room, i miss going onto my back porch to watch Zeus and what ever other dog we had at that point in time..valentine,stinkerz,hoffa,capone,daisy.. i still despise Sergio for taking Zeus away... i miss running thru the kitchen and swinging up the staircase so hard my mom could hear it and yell at me.. i miss the days when my mom wasnt sick.. omg i miss those so much.. i wish she didnt have to hurt anymore and that she was healthy again.


but now i really gotta stop typing... all this crying im doing is really not a good look...
I hope this journey called LIFE turns out to be something better than the picture it's painting for me right now... might be back later.. then again, maybe not...

So, tonight I discovered I actually think I enjoy watching basketball.. lol after tonights Orlando/Laker game I think ima try watchin BBall more often good dame

e was like, "You have a boyfriend?" It was pretty funny... bleh I just gotta stick it out...

Its already getting annoying and I've only been here 2 days. Lol shoulda seen his face when I told him the man I'm with is coming here to be with me.. h